My mission now is to continue 'weaving my parachute' so that I'm equipped as best I can to deal with life and everything it throws at me. Ben Davy
For me it was culmination of 5 or 6 years of a particularly hard slog. Taking on more, stretching myself too thinly, never learning to say ‘no’. I Basically took on one project too many and it finished me off. Work pressures paired with not looking after myself physically and mentally meant I was running on fumes for a long time and eventually ran out of runway. The crash was hard and came pretty quickly, luckily for me I’ve got a good support network of friends and family around me which meant I got help quickly. The day I realised I couldn’t continue at that pace any longer was terrifying but also a relief.
My first step to sorting myself out was to hand back some of my responsibilities within my job, this immediately lifted a massive weight and gave me space to look at other areas of my life which were in dire need of attention after what had been a lifetime of neglect. I saw a councillor to thrash out some stuff, I went on a mindfulness course, I stopped drinking, stopped the drugs, stopped the late nights, started eating a more varied diet, did another mindfulness course, started meditation, started yoga, did some sessions with a MCBT lady. Basically threw as much as I could at it in the hope that something would stick. It felt a lot like I needed a full system reset. The idea being I could get to a place where I could rebuild myself and continue life in a safe, balanced way that was respectful to myself and would benefit not only me but others in my life.
My mission now is to continue ‘weaving my parachute’ so that I’m equipped as best I can to deal with life and everything it throws at me. There is no ‘fix’, we’re all a work in progress, things change, nothing is certain but you owe it to yourself to be as excellent to yourself as you are to other people. I threw loads at the problem mainly out of blind panic and because I knew that the life I had been leading wasn’t sustainable, I was really fucking scared and wanted change.
My advice would be to change one thing and see how you go. Also don’t rush to measure improvements. Take a day at a time. Above all else talk to people, when you open up about this stuff you’d be amazed how many people out there have been through what you’re going through. That old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, it’s fucking true!