My Story

I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I rapidly lost weight and my only fuel was nervous energy but that was running out. Andrew Clarke

Andrew’s story began with a post to Instagram

Little did he know at the time that his story would inspire hundreds of people feeling very similarly and lead to a news article in the Guardian and the foundation of Pilot Light.

You can find his story in the Instagram post below.


View this post on Instagram


This was me 10 months ago. Inside I was suffering from a pain so extreme that I could barely cope. It hit me like a ton of bricks at a time when I least expected it. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I rapidly lost weight and my only fuel was nervous energy but that was running out. I hated who I was and wanted to kill myself every night I came home from work. The loneliness and despair was crippling. But I’m very lucky to have some very special people in my life. My family and friends helped me through the darkest of times. I stayed strong for them and faced my demons. For as much pain as I was going through, I couldn’t possibly pass that on to them. I gave up drink and drugs and worked my a*** off everyday. 100 hours a week. Each service pulled me gradually out of hell. I was very happy with my work and so proud of my team. I found a lot of reasons to live and even though I’m not 100% recovered yet, I work on myself everyday to stay strong and positive. 2016 has been good to me so far and I’ll make damn sure next year is even better. I never believed in depression and only ever saw the world in a positive light. But it’s not until you experience it, that you realise just how real it is. I now reach out to people going through the same. I want to give as much as I can back, through charity or voice. Depression can happen to anyone of us. Don’t suffer in silence. Talk to someone. Talk to me. #worldmentalhealthday

A post shared by Andrew Clarke ⚜ (@fleurdelysldn) on

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